Resist This
- lisa Stathoplos
- Jan 21
- 3 min read
RESIST THIS
I miss the human voice. I miss a chat over a coffee, a happenstance meet-up that turns into an afternoon on the grass or sitting on a snow-covered sled gabbing in temperatures aiming at zero.
People ask: “How to resist?” I don’t know the answers yet — I don’t think anyone is sure but, it seems that the local level is where to turn right now.
I have another thought, though; it’s more personal. Could a piece of the resistance be in-person connection — actual, via phone, or Zoom? Maybe we shouldn’t text so much? It doesn’t take that much more time to speak in person. It really doesn’t. If you have or need a deadline, say so. Could a commitment to ONE quick phone call a day — or, if that’s too burdensome (??!) — once weekly make a positive difference in our lives? I think so. When did we all get so busy we couldn’t possibly share a few minutes on the phone? (Answer: We’re not. I’ve juggled two colossal full-time jobs at once and still made time to call my Mom, say “hey” to someone for a minute, and wrangle with “Customer Service” at AT &T. ) We don’t MAKE time. And, we’re missing out on actual connection.
Plan a date to meet with someone once a week — or month! In person. Somewhere.
I’m not suggesting dumping social media; it is a handy way to find people and share a bit about our lives with our “friends” (More on that in a sec…..) But, complement that with in-person or “in-voice” interaction. (And, if you’re young and new to this notion, people used to only connect in person or via phone, letter, or telegraph — crazy!) For one thing, it could make us less beholden to the “Big Techs” who want to run our lives for personal gain.
Back to FB “Friends. The OED defines Friend: “….. noun Old English– A person with whom one has developed a close and informal relationship of mutual trust and intimacy…”
It says on my FB site that I have 445 friends. Hmm. People I refer to as my actual “friends” are a small handful who’ve known me personally — many for a whole lotta years. There are also colleagues from my Theater Major years, a mass of former students who I now consider friends, and lots of wonderful acquaintances both old and new. On FB, I see people I’ve met or worked with once or twice and many whom I wish I could know a little better. I have “friends” of friends (I vet everyone first; FB makes me nervous.) But, to be honest — which I notoriously am and have historically been in a lotta trouble for — 95% of the folks making up my 445 don’t interact with me in any way. I’ve had meaningful exchanges with strangers in a grocery line more often than many here. Not sure why we are “connected”, maybe it’s a FB thing but, it’s also fine. If any of my 445 have an interest in meeting up somewhere to say “hey” and have a chat, I will try to make that happen. (You’re invited up to the midcoast.)
This leads to my main point. Maybe “resisting” will have a lot to do with real, true connection. With hanging out, making time, like so many of us used to do. And, it may have to do with forgiveness, too. Forgiving each other for being oh, so human and fallible and imperfect.
Could part of the resistance be something as simple as getting reacquainted or newly acquainted with our humans? And, appreciating the nuance and emotional wealth of the human voice? Could we use our phones — occasionally! — the way phones were once used?
I’m talking (and listening!) to you. And you, to me.
lisa Stathoplos
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